I hate to have to give up. I don't want to give up, I want to win. I don't like to give things up. I like things. I like having things. Things are fun. I don't like giving up time. Time is precious. I have stuff to do. I don't like to give up calories. Calories are yummy. Calories are always hanging out in the food I love most. I don't like to give me up. I like me. I'm awesome.
But...I have learned some things since I've been alive; We Can't Always Have What We Want! My first lesson in this that I can remember was when I was like 2 and my sister was like 24 and I very cutely asked her play tug of war with my rubber bunny. I said in my cute little 2 year old voice "Here DB, (Debbie is her name) pull on dis and say mine"..and her being the awesome and naive big sister.. she did as I asked, she grabs a hold of it and says," Hey you give me that it's mine!" At that moment I did what any brilliant 2 year old would do..I ran into the kitchen crying to my concerned mother and said "Mommy, DB tookted my toy!" My mom came in and of course scolded my much older sister for tormenting me. My sister of course couldn't defend herself, I mean, what was she gonna do, point at the 2 year old and say "But SHE started it"? No, my brilliant plan had worked, nothing could stop me so what did I do? I did what any kid genius who just got away with the crime of the century would do..I looked at my sister, held out the bunny and said "Here DB, do it again, pull on dis an say mine". Of course I didn't realize that my mother had heard my little remark and peeked back around the corner at my sister and shook her head yes. So you can imagine what happened... I got a spankin' but much more than that I received a lesson: Things do not always go my way...no matter how cute I am. .)Let's fast forward a few years (because that's really the only naughty thing I did in my toddler years...haha ok ok whatever) I went to a little country school. I loved school. School was fun. I was a nice kid, most kids liked me (we all have those few people that don't..that's another life lesson right?) anyway, everything was going great in my little 3rd grade world until this little girl came to school with head lice. Yep head lice..oh what a PLAGUE that was back then. And the other kids all treated her that way. It wasn't just a one time occurrence either. I would watch this little girl be by herself at recess, I'd hear what the kids would whisper in her direction and my little girl heart would hurt for her. I knew Jesus and I would talk to Him all the time. I remember knowing what God wanted me to do...I was suppose to be her friend. So I was. For a while I was her only friend, and yes my friends started staying away from me too, but I didn't care because I knew I was doing what was right and I felt GOOD. Did I get head lice?...YOU BET! And you know what? I knew I would the minute I wrapped my arms around that little girl and told her I was her friend. And bless my mom and sister who took the HOURS to comb out every strand of long thick hair on my head. And how blessed I was to have a mom that didn't get angry because I could have avoided it but encouraged me to be kind and loving no matter what because she believed in the little girl that I was. In this I received a lesson: Sometimes we will lose friends when we choose to do what's right and ONE simple act of kindness can impact someone's life for Jesus.
Moving on up to High School: I went to Christian School for several years through 9th grade and I absolutely LOVED it. It was such a blessing and helped me build a firm foundation of faith and understanding. I went to a public high school in a small town and.. oh the testing of my faith began. I loved God with all my heart and needless to say...I did not "fit in". I was okay with that. To me, I had developed a love for God so strong that NOTHING was worth messing that up. I pressed on through ..to be frank, a lot of JUNK. I loved learning, I was an A student until I attended a class where the TEACHER would tell me to cheat off someones paper if I didn't know how to do the problem. Regardless, I refused and that was the end of that. I was okay with that. My integrity was worth more.
One class in particular, I LOVED the class itself because it was right up my ally, but the things that would go on in the classroom were not. But the moment that God did something in my life that changed my level of boldness for the rest of my life was this: One day I had really just had enough of all the garbage. I had been praying and praying because I was slowly losing my love for school, I felt like I wasn't making a difference because I wasn't willing to jump in and "Be" like everyone else. I was discouraged. On this day, we all had to give a presentation in class, it was a big deal. I was listening to one of the guys practicing his presentation and there it was...completely inappropriate and vulgar full of picture illustrations and I was done! I left, refused to go to class and sit through it, knowing that it wouldn't get stopped because that stuff happened all the time in class. I knew that day would be no different. Needless to say the school called and my mother told them why I was not there. I always had great support from my parents. The school apologized and apparently the teacher got in trouble. I can't remember the details but I remember the snide remarks from the older students that I got when I came back. Obviously I hit a nerve. Strangely enough, I didn't care (not in a rude way but in an incredible peace that flooded my soul). But it was at the moment when this teacher asked to speak with me in the other room...started out with an apology which I appreciated, but then turned into a what was wrong with me kind of monologue...and then when she was finished...I opened my mouth, and what started coming out was some of the most powerful statements I had ever heard. The Holy Spirit was taking control and guiding my mouth. It was respectful yet boldly full of truth. I believe truth beyond my years, and as I was talking I watched this teacher slowly start sinking in her chair right in front of me silenced and possibly in shock and unable to prove me wrong. The Pivotal Lesson that I learned: Sometimes we will have to give up traveling buddies and walk this road alone. Sometimes we have to give up the notion that people may call themselves Christians but saying it and meaning it are two different things. Be Bold in the TRUTH. Stand FIRM. God is my DEFENDER. HE will NEVER Leave me or Forsake me.
I could go on with this blog with lots more life lessons, but this blog would start going into next week and I doubt anyone has that much time to read my ramblings. So I'll cut it short. Put it in a yummy nutshell...
Life is about giving up: Giving up pride, giving up anger, giving up selfishness, giving up jealousy, giving up fear, giving up regret, giving up friends, giving up habits, giving up lies, giving up failure...We HAVE to give it up. The road is long, the road is hard and we often walk it with a backpack full of burdens. God loves us. He loves us and He promises if we hold his hand on our journey and we step where He wants us to step that we will NEVER be alone. I love a lot of things, but I am striving in my relationship with God to not love ANY of those things (emotional, physical, spiritual) more than I love Him. I've had to give up a lot...still am, but as I look back at everything that I have had to give up...I have GAINED SO MUCH in it's place. God rewards those who seek Him. He sees the sacrifice. He said we all have to "take up our cross".. cross not a pillow, big difference...and follow Him. There is NOTHING that we have to go through that He doesn't fully understand, and there is NOTHING that we have to go through that compares to Him dying on the cross.
Don't be afraid to GIVE UP in this life. I think there are things DAILY that I have the opportunity to give up for a better relationship and life with God. I hope you're with me, I think this is a great journey to be on! :)
