What The Cross Means To Me

I can never pay Him back. Jesus knew that I was going to Hell because I was a sinner. That was and is the price for my sin. Eternity in Hell. Jesus knew about all the times I was going to mess up, He knew every single bad choice that I would make, He felt every disappointment that I would cause Him, all of these things rang out to Him as He was being mocked and beaten and spit on...He could hear my voice among the crowd. My voice was resonating because in my own way, through my own sin I have mocked, and beaten, and spit in His face. I did that. I made Him go to the cross because there was no other way for me to spend eternity with Him.

      I have felt at times in my life, completely unworthy. Unworthy because of my failures. Unworthy because of my imperfections. Unworthy because of my looks. Unworthy because of my lack of importance to others. But Jesus, knowing all of these things about me...seeing all of the things that make up who I am...He considered me worthy. Worthy of Him being tortured so that I might know His love for me. Worthy of Him being humiliated so that I might find my confidence and beauty through Him. Worthy of Him making Himself nothing so that I can know how to make a difference in the lives of others and become someone of importance to somebody. Worthy to have someone love me so much that He would willingly die just for me so that I could be loved by Him. To be bought with a price...to have worth.

 He carried all of my burdens, mistakes, failures, sins on His back up the hill to Calvary. He felt the full weight of all my pain, disappointments, anger, betrayal, and hurts...and yet He kept climbing knowing full well that I may never accept Him. He kept climbing anyway. He knew that I would have a choice to realize what He was doing for me and accept it and follow Him or completely reject the idea that He could really love me that much and continue to live in sin and totally separate myself from Him forever. He chose to love me despite the outcome. He pulled the weight of my entire life on His shoulders without getting angry with me, not one step did He take in anger because of the things I would do but every step He took was in complete love for me. No one has ever loved me like Jesus.

     He was nailed to a cross...for me. Every time the hammer struck driving those nails in deeper...He felt my sin. Every time He cried out in pain and agony wishing it would stop...He felt my sin. He could have gotten off of that cross at any moment...but He chose to feel my sin nailing Him to that cross. He did not hate me..not once did He despise me for hanging Him there...He prayed for me. He thought about who He created me to be, who I was to become...and the hope that I would know Him and love Him in return. He loved me every second He was on that cross.

     He hung on the cross...broken, wounded, blood spilling out of His body. The darkest of deaths...and He hung there..for a long time. Thinking about me. 

    "It is finished." He took my sin and paid the price to save me from the pit of Hell. It was my sin that caused Him pain and I had to do nothing. He paid it all. Every single thing I have ever done ...He paid the price for that sin. He sacrificed Himself..for me. 

The amazing thing is that...it didn't end there. He didn't just die for me...He defeated Satan and rose from the grave! I not only serve a loving Savior but I serve a living Savior. He is present here with me daily. I don't serve a dead god or an empty idol...I serve a living God who is so very present in every second of my day. I get to know Him and feel His love daily because He is real. He loved me so much to come to this Earth and die and rise again so that I may know Him. He offers new life to me. My old life of sin is gone...buried with Him on the cross. My new life is ever growing and transforming me into who He has called me to be. He is my helper, my shield, my strength, my portion, and my deliverer. I chose to love Him..I CHOOSE to love Him.

      What I know is that it is not enough for me to just accept what He did on the cross for me and continue to live how I choose. He gave up so much for me...can I really do less than live for Him? It's not enough knowing that my sin has caused Him such pain, my bad decisions and mistakes have had a price that He had to pay...that I can just be thankful for what He did for me and not continually be aware of how my actions are affecting Him today. I must live in a way that doesn't hurt my Jesus anymore. Now that I understand what I have cost Him and what His incredible love did for me...I want to love Him back with absolutely everything I can. My life needs to be a pure reflection of who He is to me. He is beautiful. He deserves my love. I can NEVER repay Him for what He did for me on that cross. But I can offer up the only thing I will ever have to give Him in return....my life.

                                                          Jesus, Thank You for the Cross.